House Arrest
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Becker has an unwelcome house guest on Halloween night, but if he plays his cards right, he might just be able to change the whole rest of his life!  6th in Will's 13 Days of Halloween series for Jack in year 2010.


Title: "House Arrest"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
For: My beloved Jack and our babies as a bit of a Halloween/Samhain/Anniversary present in this chaotic time of our lives  
Rating: R due to sexual content  
Summary: Becker has an unwelcome house guest on Halloween night, but if he plays his cards right, he might just be able to change the whole rest of his life!  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: Het  
Challenge: None  
Word Count (excluding heading): 4,511  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
Archive: WWOMB, - Anybody else, ask, and I'll probably grant permission.  
Date Written: 17 October, 2010  
Disclaimer: John Becker, Linda, Margaret, Bob, Ronald McDonald, Catwoman, Freddy Kreugar, and all other recognizable characters mentioned within are & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. No one can own the Source of All Evil, but this particular representation of him is & TM his respective owners, also not the author, and is used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

John growled from around his cigarette when his doorbell rang for the fifth time already that evening. Glaring at his door, he shouted, "I ALREADY TOLD YOU DAMN KIDS THAT I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING, AND IF YOU TRY TO TP MY DOOR, I'LL SHOOT YOUR LITTLE ASSES!"

He tried to return his attention to the old monster movie he was watching on his black and white television, though he knew he should really turn the annoying thing off. It was almost as much of a pest as the brats dressed in sheets and other pathetic-looking, little costumes. Yet he wanted some kind of entertainment, didn't want to go out or bother having to read a book, and all the other channels were playing movies that were simply a series of fake blood and guts splatterings. He grunted his disgust just as the doorbell rang again.

This time, a heightened, female voice called out, "Trick or treat!", and then burst into giggles. John growled again, and had he had fangs like the Vampire in the movie, he would have flashed them in his fury. He jumped up off of his tattered couch, upsetting his bowl of popcorn as he did so, and stormed to the door.

"LINDA!" he roared, having recognized his foremost pain in the ass the very instant she'd opened her mouth. He unbolted the locks and yanked the door open with such furious strength that he almost ripped the door from its hinges and broke the locks. "WHAT IN THE HELL . . . " he started to demand, and then his breath left him. In one great rush of exhaling air, he concluded, " . . . areyoudoinghere?"

Linda beamed as she gazed up at Becker with a wide smile and empty, shining eyes. "Cat got your tongue?" she asked and then giggled as she whirled the pretend tail that protruded from her leather-clad behind around in her fingers. "Good," she then said, appearing to grow serious. "Because I'm taking over. This is a house arrest."

"What the - ?" Becker started, but he'd barely gotten those two words out before Linda, moving with the graceful swiftness that only a woman who was an expert at bowling men over could manage, had grabbed the cigarette from his mouth, the pack of cigars out of his breast pocket, threw the pack into the hallway, and pushed him firmly back into his apartment.

With his cigarettes suddenly stolen, Becker finally managed to get over his surprise at Linda's costume. She was dressed in black leather that molded perfectly to her lithe body. A leather bodice pushed up her perky breasts, making them appear bigger than they really were, and a baret topped with fake kitty cat ears was perched on top of her brunette head. He would never admit it in a thousand years, even under penalty of death, but she had made herself over, since the few hours since last he'd seen her at the office, into the dream girl of every little boy who'd ever fantasized about Catwoman.

Damn it, he groused silently, he'd known he should have paid more attention to Batgirl and not Catwoman! But as it was, he'd been caught by surprise and tongue tied, and now the damn girl had thrown his cigarettes out into the hallway where they'd either be trampled or stolen. Actually, Becker thought to himself, it would probably be both. The idiots who lived around him would steal the messy diaper off of a smelly, bratty-assed baby, if given the opportunity.

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, WOMAN?" Becker demanded. He tried to shove Linda aside, but although she went to the side easily enough, he missed seeing her foot, clad in a fishnet stocking and black high heel, stick out in front of him. His eyes had been on his prize (his cigarettes, of course), and now he barreled, cursing a blue streak, over Linda's foot and down onto his own carpet.

She moved swiftly over him, and as Becker's weary bones protested his brutal treatment of them as he worked to pick himself back up, she sprinted out into the hallway and grabbed the cigarettes off of the floor. She stubbed out his lit cigarette onto the wall, amongst the whisperings of his neighbors, whispers that she did not even notice though he glared at them all and shouted, "GO TO HELL!" She was used to people talking about her, and it only bothered her when they accredited her with something she'd never be caught dead doing.

Now on his feet again, Becker started toward Linda. "Linda, you better have a damn good reason for all this bullshit!"

"I do," she countered with a smile, but then she made him yell his fury as she dropped his crumpled pack of cigarettes into her bodice. Standing with her hands on her swaying hips, Linda announced, "I am putting you under house arrest, Doctor Becker. I'm tired of you telling everybody what we should eat or drink or not smoke or not drink or do this or do that or do the other thing when you do everything you want to do! You're a hypocrite, and that stops tonight!"

"Give me back my cigarettes," Becker demanded through clenched teeth, "or you're fired." He was going to fire her any way, but she didn't know that fact yet.

She returned his glare with a glower of her own. She brought herself up to her full height, and her breasts tightened as they surged against her tight leather bodice. "You can fire me," she said. "In fact, go ahead! I don't need that stinking job any way, no more than I need that stinking guy I went out to meet today! I don't need men, and I don't need a job! And I don't need the headaches that you give me! But I'm doing this just to make you shut the heck up once and for all! Fire me," she concluded, strutting toward, and then pass, him, "but you aren't getting rid of me that easily!" She walked back into his apartment.

Becker stared after her, his mouth hanging open. "WHAT IN THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" he barked. It seemed like everybody who lived on his floor, from old Mrs. Perkins to the next door neighbor's screaming brat that kept waking him up every other hour, had gathered to watch the spectacle that Linda had just made of him. Though they did not dare to be stupid enough to say anything to him, their wide-eyed looks spoke volumes. "SHUT UP!" he snarled at the lot of them and went back into his apartment, where Linda had taken over his couch, remote control, and popcorn. He pointed at the door. "GET THE HELL OUT!"

She popped another handful of popcorn into her mouth and answered without even bothering to look at him, "No."

"Fine," he groused. "Stay. But give me back my damn cigarettes." He held out his hand expectantly.

Linda rose her eyes from Freddy Krueger's latest victim to look condescendingly upon Becker's outstretched hand. Then she met his gaze while simultaneously shrugging her shoulders and shaking her breasts at him. "Go fish," she returned.

"I oughta do just that!" he snapped. "The way you're always flouncing around in those tight, little outfits, you're asking to get raped!"

"Just because a proud woman shows off what she's got doesn't mean she's easy," Linda spoke, picking her chin up higher.

"No," he agreed, "but you are."

Her mouth fell open. "How dare you! I pick my dates very carefully!"

"Yeah, sure, you do. That's why you keep having such problems with men and why you're dateless tonight."

"I'm not dateless! I dumped his ass!"

"Yeah, see? If you'd picked more carefully, you'd still be out there with him."

"_I_ dumped _him_!"

Becker gazed down at her. "That's all that matters to you, isn't it? You don't care how many disastrous dates you have as long as you do the dumping. What's gonna happen when you get dumped?"

"Nobody's going to dump this!"

Becker opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a shrill scream from the television. "Turn that garbage off."

To his surprise, Linda actually flicked the television off. "So what do you want to do now?" she asked, looking back up at him.

"I want you to leave, and then I'm going to bed."

"Go to bed," she responded, "but I'm not leaving. This is going to be one night where you don't get to do anything you bitch at the rest of us about doing."

Becker reached for his popcorn that was being jostled and spilled all over his couch, but Linda swatted his hand. "That's my popcorn!"

"Yeah," she answered, "it is, but weren't you just bitching at Margaret the other day for heating up popcorn in the office microwave?"

"Yeah," Becker admitted, "but that's different."

"Why? Because it's Margaret and not you?"

"Yeah. First of all, she makes a mess spattering butter everywhere when she makes her damn popcorn at work."

"So? She cleans it."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"Just smelling that stuff adds five pounds. Do you have any idea how many people I have to deal with every day bitching because they can't lose weight but continuing to eat fatty foods? And then she gives out the damn stuff to any one who wants it by the handfuls!"

"So it makes your job harder. So what?" Linda asked with a shrug. Popping another handful of popcorn into her mouth, she continued to talk as she chewed. "Your job's hard every day, Becker. It'll always be that way, because you chose to be a doctor. You want an easier job, get yourself one."

"It's not that easy," he muttered. As much as he hated to admit it, she did have a point: He'd chosen one of the hardest occupations there was, because he was tired of seeing suffering, but over the years, and as he'd dealt with an increasing number of patients who wouldn't help themselves when only they could really save themselves, he'd become ever more bitter until he, at last, hated his job and hated dealing with the very people he'd wanted to save at one time.

"Sure it is," Linda told him. "Just go put in at the McDonald's down the street. They're always hiring."

Becker looked at her in surprise. He blinked once before asking, "Do you know how long it would take before I would rip the head off of that damn Ronald McDonald clown?"

The corners of her red-painted mouth twitched up into a humored grin, and a short laugh broke from her pretty mouth. "Bet you'd eat a kid first."

John laughed. "Probably." He gazed down at her in thought. "Am I really that much of a pain in the ass?"

Linda didn't miss a beat as she answered promptly, "Yup."

John narrowed his eyes and glowered at her. "Do you know it's annoying bitches like you that make me be such a pain in the ass?"

Linda knew she should have been insulted, but she had grown accustomed to her boss' mouth long ago. If she had ever really wanted to get him into trouble, she was sure she could have sued the pants off of him. The sight of Becker without his pants flashed through her head, and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Keep them on."

"What?" Becker asked, clearly confused.

"Your pants," Linda told him. "Keep them on."

"I wasn't about to take them off!" Becker exclaimed hotly.

"Good," Linda said, a bit dazedly. She'd definitely had too much to drink too early that evening! She grinned at Becker and blinked innocently. "So what if I'm a pain in the ass?" she resumed their conversation. "It doesn't mean you have to be a pain in the ass back."

"There's no reasoning with you!" Becker declared, throwing up his arms.

"No," Linda countered, "there's no reasoning with _you_, Doctor Becker. You say we're all pains in the asses because we don't do what you think we should do, but you don't do what you tell us to do yourself!"

"What are you saying?" Becker demanded.

"I'm saying lead by example if you really wanna change the world! That was one of the first lessons my Girl Scouts leader taught us! Be the change you want to see in the world!"

Becker snorted. "Not that crap again."

"It isn't crap," Linda countered. Laying her whirling, raven-tressed head back against his couch, she gazed up at him as she challenged, "Change the world, Doctor Becker. Start with yourself. Start tonight. Isn't that what you've always wanted to do?"

Becker stared at her in disbelief, and then he decided, "I need a beer." He started toward his refrigerator, but she was back on her feet in an instant and sprinted ahead of him to the fridge. She plastered herself against it, her back pressing against the cold metal, and gazed at him. "That's no way to change the world," she told him and promptly hiccupped.

"Get out of my way," Becker growled.

"No. Change the world."

"The world can go to Hell! Leave me alone! I just want a damn beer!"

"All you men are the same!" Linda announced with another hiccup. "You wanna do this, you wanna do that, and you blame the women for standing in your way when it's really you standing in your own way! My Dad was the same way! You wanna know why I don't care how many bad dates I have, Becker?" She flung a ring-wearing hand to the side. "It's because I know they're all gonna turn bad sooner or later! All men are losers!"

Becker sighed as he gazed as the desperate woman sprawled across his fridge. "He was that bad, huh?"

"Who?" She blinked at him owlishly.

"Your father."

She didn't answer. He hesitated as he weighed the moment and his choice in his mind. She was nothing he wanted. She was pretty enough, but she was far too annoying to ever be truly attractive to him. Then again, most women were, which was why he was still single after all this time and no relationship he'd ever embarked upon had ever worked out right.

Maybe Linda was right; maybe men were losers. No, he quickly changed his mind with an annoyed growl aimed at his own self, men were not the losers. Women were bitches, and they made every man's life a living Hell once they sank their claws into them.

Still this one woman, pretty, petite, and annoying as she was, stood between him and everything he wanted. He closed the distance remaining between them in a single stride and lowered his head toward hers. He gazed into her eyes as he whispered huskily, "Not all men are losers."

She searched his eyes and whispered against his poised lips, a mere fraction of an inch away from her own, "Aren't they?"

"No," he whispered in response and wrapped his arms around her slender waist.

"Doctor Becker!" she giggled as he picked her up off of her feet and drew her closer to him, . . . and then her face fell as he promptly deposited her to his side. He quickly moved in on his refrigerator, opened the door, grabbed a beer, popped the tab, and took a long slug.

Linda stomped her foot and fumed, her hands returning to her hips. How dare he play with her to get what he wanted! Not that that wasn't what all men always did, but still! To think that she had been moved on and then simply discarded for another blasted brewsky! "Oh, John," she called, her mind made up that she was going to trick the Hell out of this cranky, old bastard, and batted her eyelashes.

Becker paused and slowly descended the canned beer from his parched mouth. There was something different about Linda's voice suddenly. There was a lilt to it that was almost . . . musical. He looked at her guardedly from over his beer and remembered, upon seeing the way her breasts poked against the tightness of her bodice, that she still had his cigarettes.

"What?" he snapped.

She grinned. "Be my next loser," she taunted, moving seductively, swaying one hip at a time, back to his side. Before he could figure out what she was up to this time, she had grabbed his face in both of her hands and was pressing her lips to his!

Becker's mind whirled. His body trembled. His manhood instantly reacted. He had never been kissed like this except for in his wildest dreams!

Slowly, Linda stepped around the refrigerator and backed Becker up against the table. Her mouth on his was hot and demanding, and her tongue worked quickly to pry his lips apart. They both moaned, though she only paid heed to his, as her tongue dove into his heated mouth. She kicked the refrigerator door shut; he dropped his beer. It spilled, unnoticed, onto the floor.

She pressed her full body against his; his arms finally encircled her waist once more. His hands, grasping as though with an accord of their own, found her buns and squeezed hard, bringing her even closer against him. She could feel his thrusting member against the tightness of her black leather pants and moaned in shock, surprise, and delight at the feel of its might.

Their hearts beat hard as they pounded one rhythm. Their minds whirled; their hearts soared. Never had either ever felt this way before! Linda's breasts crushed against Becker's chest, and he squeezed her harder, bringing a small yelp of surprise from her and causing her to surge up against his body. At last, due to her yelp, their mouths broke, and they gazed at each other, their foreheads still slightly touching, in shocked wonder.

Both had had their breath completely stolen away, but Becker was the first to find the ability to speak again. "That was . . . " he started but then, once more, found himself at a strange loss of words.

" . . . Wow?" Linda offered.

He smiled down into her eyes, noticing, for the first time, how truly lovely she was. He stroked her hair and had to fight to keep his hand from shaking. He was going to say amazing, but he didn't dare say so before her. What if it had only been "wow" to her and not as thoroughly amazing to her as it had been to him?

They stood, gazing into one another's eyes, and just relishing sharing the same space and touching one another, for a long while before Becker spoke again. He had always had a knack for ruining any moment, and he cringed inside when he heard the words come out of his mouth. "Can I have my smokes back now?" There. He'd done it again. He'd ruined any chance he might have had with a pretty woman who no longer seemed so annoying as she had before.

Linda fished his pack of cigarettes out of her bodice, allowing him a peek at her luscious breasts which he quickly tore his eyes away from even as his face reddened. She held up the crushed pack. "Sure you want 'em?"

He should just say "yes", he thought, looking back down at her and be done with this game and her. She'd only be another mistake on a list that was already far too long for his liking, but yet he'd felt something startling in their kiss. It reminded him of the dreams he'd had as a boy, dreams of what he wanted to be and the life he had wanted to lead, both of which had been crushed just as her own dreams had. She didn't need to tell him they had been crushed. He understood that now, from the short conversation they'd had earlier, but unlike he, who lashed out at the whole world with furious anger because of his destroyed dreams, she persisted in pretending to be optimistic and faced life as though it was nothing but one long game and she the player determined to have a blast, win or lose.

He ran his fingers through her long hair as he thought and secretly marveled at the silken feeling of her strands. She trembled inside, though she refused to show it on the outside. She would have never thought that Becker could possibly contain such passion, but then she was reminded now of the moment they'd shared at Reggie's diner some time ago. Bob had dared her to kiss the next guy who came in off of the street, and that guy had been Becker. Their kiss had stolen her breath away then, just as it had now, and left her gasping, spinning, and aching for more. "Well?" she prompted in a breathless whisper.

Becker touched the crumpled pack she held in her small hand. His fingers curled around her hand and his cigarettes. He heard her words again in his mind: Be the change you want to be in the world. He'd always thought that line was nothing but that - a line of pure and simple bullshit -, but now, for the first time, he found himself considering it. What if he could change his world?

She was offering that to him now, he understood though she hadn't said it in so many words. Instead she'd offered him to be her next loser, but he was tired of playing a losing game and being considered a loser. He was tired of living every moment of his life with such complete and utter anger burning in his heart and radiating through the pit of his soul. He wanted something better, something more, and he'd wanted that which he'd been unable to name for a long time now.

Linda, he realized, was, in a way, that something. She was better; she was brighter. She was more than he'd dared to hope in a long time now that his life could contain. It was all up to him and this next moment. Her arrival at his door tonight could be a trick or a treat, and though he still didn't know what had ushered her forward to try to put him under house arrest and make him live by the rules he expected others to live by - rules that he himself did not stick to because he'd stopped caring if he lived or died a long time ago -, he knew he did not want their encounter here this Halloween night to only be a bad trick.

He wanted, he realized, to try. He wanted to try to change his world, and hers as well. He wanted to prove to her that not all men were losers. He wanted to feel alive again, instead of dead inside or merely downtrodden, aggravated, and poor as he'd spent every day being for so long now. He wanted to feel the magic he'd once believed in but had stopped doing so when all his dreams had shattered, the very magic he'd just tasted in their kiss. He wanted Linda and the chance she offered.

She gazed up at him, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She'd never thought that this would happen when she'd first set out to come here. She'd found herself rambling after her latest disastrous date and had somehow ended up at Becker's apartment building. She'd been pissed at the world in general and men in specific and had decided to take her aggravations out on him, because he was always taking his out on her. Yet now she found herself aching for him to say yes, to feel his touch again, to have his lips descend upon hers, to drown herself in him . . .

But it couldn't be. He wouldn't go for it. He was too serious for her. He saw her as a bumbling, overactive, overeager teenager, not as a woman. He couldn't want her. He wouldn't . . .

Her thoughts stopped. She froze as he took the crumpled pack into his hand. She braced for the disappointment she knew would come, . . . and then he tossed the pack to the side, whirled Linda around to where her back was against the table, and kissed her senseless. He ravished her with his mouth in a way no other man before him ever had, and she was left gasping and spinning from not only the scorchingly hot passion between them but also from his seeming expertise. She was shocked by his mouth but far more shocked, and delighted too, that he'd chosen her over his cigarettes! No one had ever chosen her over anything that was important to them before!

"B-Becker . . . " she whispered against his lips.

"Call me John," he answered, and then he kissed her again.

She gave up talking, but she clung to her dreams and to him as she answered him in the ancient message of love, the truest magic ever to grace the land. Their tongues dove into one another's mouths and twisted together in the finest, passionate dance. Their hands freely roamed one another's bodies as they drove each other to newer and more wonderful heights than either had ever felt or tasted before. She made short work of his tie and shirt before he laid her down onto the table, and she went willingly.

They didn't know what would come the next day or the day after or even the day after, but it mattered naught to either for they had found in one another this magical All Hallow's Eve things that they'd thought gone from them forever: hope, magic, and just a touch of love.

Their lovemaking was splendid, but little did they know that, in the very next building, a trick was being played upon them both. A man who called himself their friend had seen Linda go up to Becker's room and had sprinted across to the next building and found a window from which he could gaze into their sanctuary. Now he clicked away, moaning as they moaned, crying out with wild abandon, and cumming all over himself. They'd both be his, in just a matter of time, Bob swore. He'd have free medical care for the rest of his life, and Linda would be his love slave, all in turn for never releasing the information about their hot Halloween date.

Little did Bob know, however, that the real trick was on him for on this night, this star-filled, magickal Halloween night made for lovers, Becker and Linda had found what they'd been searching for all their lives. They had discovered the missing parts of their souls, and together they were whole. They'd let the cat out of the bag. They'd let Bob's trick be spoiled. They'd let the world know, in time, that they'd found the best treats possible in each other's arms. They would change their world, rediscover the magic they'd once believed in, and live their dreams, and they would do it all together!

**The End**


End file.
